"How do you move forward and plan a future?"

This was the question presented on the widow's website that I frequent. The woman who posted this question went into her back story, but for privacy reasons, I give you just her question. Here is my response and I like that God poured it through me into the keyboard.

"I just passed 6 months on Sunday. I can't say that I have looked forward, but I have made future plans. At first, it was hard to say that I was making future plans without my Jamie. Then I realized I had to look at things from the other side of the story. I remembered that Jamie was in love with me just as much as I am still in love with him. If the roles had been reversed, and I was the one who died, how would I feel about Jamie moving forward? My desire when Jame was alive was to make it possible for him to be the happiest he could be. My deep desire, in love, for him was for him to be happy. I know that he felt the same for me. So I see things from my side for him. If I had died, leaving him, I would want him to move forward. I would want him to give my memory the respect that our love deserves. However, I would be horrified if he refused to move on. He would be miserable and just sad. There is a time for miserable and sad (the season we are in for this time), but there is also I time for happiness and joy. Jamie wouldn't want sadness for me, so I need to try my hardest to continue to make him happy, even in death. I hope this helps a little. Because of my faith, I know that God can have bigger plans for me, even through this pain. Jamie was my earthly world and such a blessing from God. I will never consider Jame just my past. Jamie will always be my future, because so much of me is him. I pray that I will get to share Jamie with so many people. And if God has another in HIS future for me, I will get to share Jame with that person as well.

"Further up, further in" my sweet Jamie. I hope you and C.S. are having a great conversation. I miss you!"

Sorry if I made you cry, but I felt like sharing. It looks like this blog may be the space you find me sharing with you guys the most about my thought and feeling about Jamie. We'll see.

Mic